“When you’ve experienced so much heartaches and disappointments in relationships, it is easy to think that it maybe your destiny, misfortune, even your path to never experience satisfaction in relating. It’s as if it does not matter wheather it’d be familial, professional, romantic, even friendship. Give it up, you’re just not cut out for it.”
(3 mins audio listen on Medium @FLO Mystic) At the age of 40, damn right I have experienced much a blog just won’t cut it. Half of my life lived, I have learned a thing of two. I have observed much in others, most importantly in myself. Which now supports me in being the wise person that I perceived myself to be. Relational Dynamics and the key ingredient in a satisfying relationship is definitely at the heart of who I am today.
I’m currently not in an exclusive romantic-relationship that I desire to soon be involved in. I don’t have a lot of people or friends I’m constantly calling, texting, or sharing life experiences with. My relationship with my family, well I honestly do not count our connection to be a relationship. Professionally, I’d say I am cordial with people I do business with, but that’s about it. And yes, I definitely have something to say about this topic.
Regardless of what I or you may perceive I lack, one thing I know for a fact and by experience is that Emotional Intelligence is how you can improve any Relational Dynamics from good to great in an instant. From a connection to a deep emotional bond over time.
Emotional Intelligence has a few key components that is necessary for building, growing, maturing, and improving our human relating with each other.
Emotional Response — is saying not necessarily the right thing every time. Instead, knowing how to respond to the person we are relating to in that given dynamic. Breathing with that person, pausing with, our body language, laughing together, even cry with, our facial expression, timely not long delays with email, text, call back. Acknowledging our lack.
Emotional Capacity — the ability to hold space for the person to simply be themselves. Not suppressing their emotions because we cannot handle their sadness, anger, enthusiasm, anxiety, depression, nor grief. The allowing for the other to fully be self expressed. Completely being the safe space for one another.
Emotional Maturity — not people pleasing, but intuitively knowing what is appropriate to share for what dynamic, gauging the emotional temperature of the space, finding the connection points as suppose to focusing on our dissonance. The awareness that we are individuals sharing space. Being different most of the time is accurate.
When Emotional Intelligence is the tool that you never leave home without, you can be sure that no matter how shallow or deep the connection and encounter is, you can experience even momentary satisfaction in your relational dynamics. For you will not be able to deny when you are fully present in your experiences.
Being present is a presence that is felt. What is felt is satisfying.