GRIEF IS NOT LIMITED BY TIME (2 mins audio listen on Medium)
It was dated 9.9.21
I thought I’ve served my time? I’ve lossed so much in the last forty years of my life. Only in the last couple of years when the world simultaneously experienced an unprecedented loss as a collective is when I finally began to embrace that part of being a human is grieving losses.
The understanding didn’t make the process any easier.
I still want to escape.
At times the pain of knowing I can never experience that which I’ve lost in the same way I once enjoyed it, is unbearable.
It has been over a year when I was in my lowest and darkest moment of my life. Everything felt overwhelming, burdensome, triggering. I felt alone yet anxious to be around people. The double edged sword was intense.
To feel some sort of peace is to withdraw, but withdrawal is depressive.
I allowed myself to be present in my grief. I embrace myself in the moment. I did not escape my presence. I drew near and still.
This was my reality.
As times and seasons change, the thoughts became familiar but not overruling. The emotions was a wave I espoused to be with. The feelings of myself I have desired to never leave its side.
Yesterday I woke up overwhelmed with grief. All I want in that moment is to be with the one who isn’t around. To experience togetherness that isn’t anymore a reality. To have and to hold what will never be.
I ache, my heart, my soul, my lungs still sings for you.
Grief can be extremely painful, heavy and dark. It does not choose an appropriate timeline “when we feel ready”. It can feel lonely.
Grief is grief.
We all don’t process loss in the same way.
Nor do we experience loss in the same manner and form.
Definitely be present with you in whatever capacity and way you can. Your reality is real.
Don’t let anyone invalidate your reality. Surround yourself with people that will hold space not tell you how to grieve.
Allowing yourself to feel the moment and expressing yourself in the moment.
There is not one way to be a human, nor all humans the same.
Humanity isn’t easy. We just got to be present to our unfolding in the moment.
Everything else outside of your human ability,… that is where divinity can come in and will do for you what you need to support you.